Trust is one of the most precious things we can give or receive, and it’s often the foundation of our closest relationships. When trust is broken, it stings, and it can sometimes take years to recover from the damage. The truth is, not everyone in your life will have your best interests at heart, and that’s okay—it’s part of learning who you want to keep close. The trick is knowing how to spot the red flags early enough so you can protect yourself, your peace, and your energy.
We all know someone who doesn’t quite sit right with us—that friend who tells you someone else’s secrets, or that coworker who always blames someone else for their mistakes. They may not seem like a big deal at first, but these behaviors are often signs of deeper patterns. Trust is earned through consistency, kindness, and honesty, and if you see the opposite traits in someone, it might be time to take a step back.
This doesn’t mean you should go through life being suspicious of everyone, but it does mean paying attention to the behaviors that tell you who someone really is. It’s about learning to protect your space and your heart. Below are 20 signs of people you can’t trust. If you notice these traits in someone, consider what it might mean for your relationship.
20 Signs of People You Can’t Trust
1. People Who Talk Negatively About Others
If someone regularly talks badly about other people to you, there’s a good chance they’re doing the same behind your back. Gossipers thrive on drama, and they often share stories for entertainment or to boost their own image. Even if you’re enjoying their company in the moment, remember that you could very well be the next topic of their conversations.
Trustworthy people keep others’ private matters private, and they focus on uplifting those around them. If someone’s first instinct is to criticize, spread rumors, or share information that’s not theirs to tell, take it as a clear warning sign. Gossip might seem harmless, but it’s often the tip of a much larger trust-breaking iceberg.
2. People Who Lie About Small Things
Someone who lies about the little stuff—like where they were, what they did, or who they were with—is not likely to be honest when it comes to bigger things. Small lies are often overlooked because they don’t seem to matter, but they reveal a person’s true relationship with honesty. If they’re willing to twist the truth over insignificant things, imagine what they’ll do when something important comes up.
Trust is built on consistency, and lying—even in minor ways—chips away at that foundation. Pay attention to the little fibs and excuses. They’re often a clue that someone values their own convenience or image more than they value being truthful with you.
3. People Who Never Apologize
If someone struggles to say, “I’m sorry” or refuses to take responsibility when they’ve done something wrong, that’s a serious trust issue. People who can’t own up to their mistakes often prioritize their pride over your feelings. It’s not about being perfect—everyone messes up—but a sincere apology shows humility, respect, and care.
Without accountability, relationships feel unbalanced, leaving you to carry the weight of every misunderstanding or hurt. If someone deflects blame, makes excuses, or brushes off their actions, it’s a sign they’re not prioritizing the trust between you.
4. People Who Overpromise and Underdeliver
When someone constantly makes big promises but rarely follows through, they’re showing you that their words don’t hold much weight. It’s easy to make commitments in the moment, but keeping them requires effort, integrity, and care. If someone repeatedly lets you down, it’s not just disappointing—it’s untrustworthy.
Overpromisers often mean well, but their lack of follow-through can leave you feeling unsupported and frustrated. Trustworthy people set realistic expectations and work hard to meet them. If you’re always left waiting, questioning, or disappointed, take note.
5. People Who Are Secretive About Everything
While everyone has a right to privacy, someone who is excessively secretive might be hiding more than you think. If they dodge simple questions, get defensive about harmless topics, or keep their life completely closed off, it’s hard to build any sense of trust.
Healthy relationships require a certain level of openness and vulnerability. Someone who can’t share anything about themselves might also struggle to let you in emotionally or be honest when it matters most.
6. People Who Are Two-Faced
If someone acts one way with you and another way with others, pay attention. Being two-faced is a clear sign that someone lacks authenticity, and their behavior can quickly erode trust. They might be sweet to your face but critical behind your back, or loyal in private but disloyal in public.
Consistency matters. You should never have to question who someone really is or where you stand with them. If someone’s behavior shifts depending on the situation, take it as a warning sign.
7. People Who Take Credit for Others’ Work
If someone constantly steals the spotlight or takes credit for things they didn’t do, it’s a sign they’re more concerned with themselves than anyone else. This is especially common in workplaces or group settings, where recognition is earned through effort.
Trustworthy people lift others up and give credit where it’s due. If someone is willing to take what isn’t theirs, they’re showing you that honesty and fairness aren’t priorities for them.
8. People Who Play the Victim
Some people always seem to be the victim, no matter the situation. They blame others for their problems, deflect responsibility, and make themselves out to be innocent—even when they’re not. While everyone faces challenges, constant victimhood can be manipulative and dishonest.
Trustworthy people own their actions and work to find solutions. If someone always has a sob story or shifts blame, it’s a red flag that they might not be as honest or trustworthy as they seem.
9. People Who Are Jealous of Your Success
Jealousy is natural in small doses, but someone who can’t celebrate your wins might not be someone you can trust. Instead of being happy for you, they may downplay your achievements, make snide comments, or compete with you.
True friends and trustworthy people want to see you succeed. If someone’s envy clouds their ability to support you, it could indicate deeper issues that may hurt your relationship over time.
10. People Who Are Quick to Judge
If someone frequently judges others—whether it’s their choices, appearance, or lifestyle—they likely bring that same judgment into your relationship. People who judge quickly often lack compassion and understanding, making it difficult to build trust.
Trustworthy people approach others with empathy and open-mindedness. They give you the space to be yourself without fear of constant criticism. If someone’s judgments leave you feeling small or insecure, it’s worth questioning their place in your life.
11. People Who Are Always Inconsistent
When someone’s words and actions never seem to line up, it becomes hard to trust them. Maybe they say they’ll be there for you but then cancel last minute, or they act like a friend one day and distant the next. Inconsistency leaves you second-guessing everything, making it impossible to build a solid foundation of trust.
Trustworthy people are steady and reliable. They follow through with their commitments and show up when they say they will. If you constantly feel like you’re on shaky ground with someone, pay attention—it’s often a sign that their loyalty and honesty aren’t dependable.
12. People Who Constantly Badmouth Their Exes
It’s normal to vent about a bad relationship, but someone who continuously blames all their exes for their problems might not be as innocent as they claim. If every story they tell makes them the hero and their ex the villain, they may lack accountability. This habit can also signal how they’ll talk about you if things ever go south.
Healthy people reflect on their experiences with maturity, admitting their part in what went wrong. Someone who spends their time tearing others down—especially past partners—shows they may not respect boundaries, confidentiality, or honesty.
13. People Who Exaggerate Everything
Some people have a habit of making every story bigger, better, or more dramatic than it really is. While this can seem harmless at first, exaggeration is often a form of dishonesty. If someone stretches the truth regularly, how do you know they’re being honest about important things?
People who exaggerate may also manipulate situations to suit their narrative. Over time, you might notice they’re not just “embellishing”—they’re bending reality. Trustworthy people stick to the facts because they value honesty over attention.
14. People Who Ignore Your Boundaries
If someone repeatedly crosses your boundaries—even after you’ve made them clear—it’s a major red flag. This might look like someone who pressures you into doing things you don’t want to do, dismisses your feelings, or doesn’t take “no” for an answer. People who ignore your limits show a lack of respect for you and your needs.
Trustworthy people honor boundaries without question. They listen when you express what makes you uncomfortable and work to make you feel safe. If someone can’t respect the lines you draw, they aren’t someone you can fully trust.
15. People Who Always Have an Agenda
Sometimes, people pretend to care about you, but their actions are motivated by what they can get out of the relationship. They may only reach out when they need a favor, advice, or support—then disappear when you’re the one who needs help. These “what’s-in-it-for-me” relationships can leave you feeling used.
Genuine people show up because they care, not because they want something. If someone only sticks around when it benefits them, it’s a sign they value what you offer more than they value you.
16. People Who Manipulate with Guilt
Guilt-tripping is a sneaky tactic used by people who want to control your actions or emotions. They might say things like, “After all I’ve done for you…” or “If you really cared, you would…” These phrases are meant to make you feel bad for not bending to their will. It’s unfair, unkind, and a clear sign of manipulation.
Trustworthy people don’t resort to guilt to get what they want. They respect your decisions and communicate their feelings honestly, without playing games. If someone is constantly making you feel guilty, it’s a sign they may not have your best interests at heart.
17. People Who Can’t Keep Their Stories Straight
If someone’s stories are constantly changing, it’s likely because they’re not telling the truth. Maybe they tell you one thing but say something completely different to someone else, or their details keep shifting every time they retell the story. Inconsistency in their words is a major red flag.
Honest people don’t have to remember what they’ve said because the truth doesn’t change. If you find yourself questioning what’s real and what’s not, it’s a sign that trust might be lacking in the relationship.
18. People Who Are Overly Competitive
There’s nothing wrong with a little healthy competition, but someone who turns everything into a rivalry can be draining and untrustworthy. They might downplay your achievements, make passive-aggressive remarks, or go out of their way to “one-up” you. Instead of celebrating your wins, they’re always trying to outshine you.
Trustworthy people know how to cheer for others without feeling threatened. If someone’s competitiveness crosses into jealousy or undermines your success, it’s a sign they may not truly have your back.
19. People Who Are Constantly Defensive
If someone gets defensive every time you try to bring up an issue, it can be difficult to trust them. Instead of listening and reflecting, they might snap back, make excuses, or turn the blame on you. This defensiveness makes honest communication nearly impossible.
Trustworthy people are open to hearing you out, even when it’s uncomfortable. They don’t see every conversation as an attack because they’re secure enough to own their actions and work toward a solution. If someone can’t take feedback, it’s a sign they may not be ready for the honesty that trust requires.
20. People Who Disappear When Things Get Hard
Trust isn’t just about the good times; it’s also about who stands beside you when life gets tough. If someone disappears the moment you face struggles—whether they ghost you, withdraw emotionally, or avoid your calls—they’re showing you that their support isn’t reliable.
True friends and trustworthy people stick around when you need them most. They show up, listen, and offer comfort when times are rough. If someone only stays during the highs but disappears during the lows, they’re not someone you can truly count on.
Final Thoughts
Trust is the backbone of any healthy relationship—whether it’s a friendship, a family bond, or something romantic. Learning to spot the signs of people you can’t trust doesn’t mean shutting yourself off; it means recognizing when to set boundaries and protect your peace. Not everyone deserves full access to your life, and that’s okay.
By being aware of these behaviors, you empower yourself to choose relationships that are rooted in honesty, respect, and care. Trust your instincts, value your worth, and remember that you deserve connections that make you feel safe, seen, and supported.
