Most people wake up from a vivid dream and just shake it off — splash water on their face, make coffee, move on. But some dreams feel different. Some dreams feel visited. You weren’t just dreaming about someone, you were with someone. There was warmth, touch, presence, and sometimes something that felt more real than real life. If that’s happened to you, you’re not alone, and you’re not imagining things. Dream sex and spirit encounters at night have been reported across every culture, every religion, and every era of human history. This isn’t fringe stuff. This is ancient.
People have called them by different names — succubi, incubi, shadow lovers, night spirits, astral companions. Some traditions say they’re beings who exist in the space between worlds. Others say they’re aspects of your own higher self reaching back through the veil. Some say they’re the souls of the dead, drawn to the warmth of the living. What almost everyone agrees on is that these encounters are real, they leave a mark, and once you’ve had one, you want to understand what actually happened. Dream sex isn’t just some embarrassing subconscious glitch. It can be one of the most spiritually significant things a person ever experiences.
The astral plane is where a lot of this happens. When you sleep, your consciousness doesn’t just shut off — it travels. Your body stays put, but something in you moves, drifts, expands. The astral world runs parallel to this one, and it’s full. Full of energy, full of beings, full of connections that don’t need a physical body to be felt. Astral lovers exist in that space. They can find you there, and with the right knowledge, you can find them too. This isn’t about summoning something dangerous or messing with forces you can’t handle. It’s about learning the language of the night and getting fluent in it.
This guide is for the people who are curious, who’ve already had a taste of something extraordinary in their sleep, or who want to open that door for the first time. We’re going to talk about what dream sex actually is, how spirit encounters happen, how to invite and build a relationship with an astral lover, and how to stay safe and grounded while you do it. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about here. Pleasure, connection, and spiritual experience belong together. The night has always known that — now it’s your turn to know it too.
What Is Dream Sex?
Dream sex is exactly what it sounds like — sexual or deeply intimate experiences that happen while you’re asleep or in a sleep-adjacent state. But it goes way deeper than a regular sex dream. A regular sex dream usually involves someone you know, someone you’ve been thinking about, and it fades pretty fast when you wake up. Dream sex with a spirit encounter is different. The sensation is physical. The presence feels external, not something your own brain cooked up. You might not even see a face — but you feel chosen, touched, met.
From a spiritual standpoint, this happens because sleep lowers the walls between you and the unseen world. Your guard is down, your conscious mind is quiet, and suddenly you’re accessible in ways you aren’t during the day. Beings that exist on other frequencies can make contact more easily. Sometimes that contact is gentle and loving. Sometimes it’s intense and electric. Sometimes it starts as a weight on the bed, a warmth in the room, a presence you sense before anything else.
It’s worth knowing that not all of these encounters are the same. Some are spontaneous — the spirit found you and made its move. Some are the result of your own energy calling something in, often without you realizing it. And some, with practice, can be intentional. You can learn to go looking.
Who Are Astral Lovers?
Astral lovers are beings — or sometimes souls — who exist primarily on the astral plane and who form intimate connections with humans. They’re not demons (though some traditions have tried to frame them that way). They’re not your imagination. They’re entities with their own nature, their own reasons for seeking connection, and their own way of showing up.
Some astral lovers are spirits who were once human. A person who died with deep longing, deep love, or unfinished connection might find their way to someone in the dream space. There’s a long tradition of widow and widower stories where the deceased spouse visits in the night — and the encounter is warm, unmistakably them, and more than just a memory.
Some are non-human entities entirely — beings made of energy and consciousness who are drawn to the vitality of living humans. They experience something through the connection too. It’s not one-sided. Think of it as two very different kinds of beings finding a meeting point in the middle of the night.
Some practitioners of ceremonial magic, folk magic, and various spiritual traditions actively cultivate relationships with astral lovers as part of their practice. These relationships can be ongoing, emotionally rich, and genuinely transformative. People report feeling protected, inspired, energized, and deeply known by an astral lover in ways that human relationships sometimes don’t reach.
How to Prepare Yourself for Spirit Encounters at Night
Before you go looking for an astral lover or invite a spirit encounter, you want to set yourself up right. This isn’t just about safety — it’s about quality. The more open, clear, and intentional you are, the more real and meaningful the experience will be.
Get your sleep space right. Your bedroom is the portal here. Cleanse it — burn some sage, palo santo, or cedar. Put out something that represents your intention: a red or black candle, rose petals, a piece of lodestone or rose quartz. Keep the energy clean and welcoming. Clutter and stagnant energy close doors.
Work on your dream recall first. If you can’t remember your dreams, you won’t remember your encounters. Keep a dream journal on your nightstand and write in it the second you wake up — before you check your phone, before you move around. Even fragments count. The more attention you give your dream life, the more vivid and accessible it becomes. This is non-negotiable groundwork.
Learn to relax your body completely. The hypnagogic state — that fuzzy edge between waking and sleeping — is prime territory for spirit encounters. Practice lying completely still while keeping your mind gently awake. Body asleep, mind aware. This is also the gateway to intentional astral projection, which is a whole skill in itself but worth starting to develop.
Set a clear intention before you sleep. This sounds simple but it’s powerful. Speak out loud or write down what you’re looking for. Something like: “I am open to connection on the astral plane. I welcome a loving, beneficial presence tonight.” Mean it. Energy follows intention, and the astral plane is very responsive to what you put out.
How to Invite an Astral Lover
Inviting an astral lover is part ritual, part energetic openness, and part just getting out of your own way. Here’s how to approach it:
Build desire deliberately. The astral plane responds to feeling, not just thought. Spend time in the days leading up to your practice genuinely cultivating the feeling of longing, openness, and readiness for connection. Not desperation — that repels. Warm, open, willing. There’s a difference.
Use a love or attraction working before bed. A simple ritual: light a red or pink candle, anoint yourself with rose or jasmine oil, and speak a quiet invitation to the spirit world. You can be specific (asking for a particular type of presence — protective, passionate, gentle) or you can leave it open. Close with something like “As I sleep, I am open. Come to me in love.”
Try the hypnagogic entry method. As you fall asleep, keep a small thread of awareness alive. Picture yourself in a beautiful, safe space — a garden, a room, a beach at night. Hold the feeling of anticipation, of waiting for someone. Don’t force it. Let the space fill on its own. Many people report that an astral lover first appears in this space as a feeling before it becomes a presence.
Don’t break the encounter when it starts. This is where most beginners lose it — the moment something real starts happening, excitement or anxiety snaps them awake. Practice staying calm. Breathe. Let yourself be in it. The more you practice staying present in liminal states, the longer and deeper these encounters become.
Staying Safe in the Dream Space
Dream sex and spirit encounters are real, and like anything real, they come with some things worth being smart about.
Know what feels right. A beneficial astral lover will feel good — warm, expansive, loving, even if intense. Something that feels draining, frightening, or leaves you exhausted and low in the morning is worth paying attention to. Your body knows. Trust it.
Maintain your energetic boundaries. Regular cleansing, grounding, and protection practices matter. Visualize a protective light around you before sleep. Call on whatever protective forces are meaningful to you — ancestors, guides, a deity you work with. You don’t have to go into the night unprotected.
Don’t let it replace your waking life. Astral lovers can be incredible. They can also become a place to hide from human connection if you’re not careful. Keep your feet on the ground. Let the encounters enrich your life, not become an escape from it.
You can always say no. On the astral plane as in waking life, you have agency. If an encounter doesn’t feel right, you can end it — firmly state your intention to disengage, pull your awareness back to your body, and cleanse your space in the morning. You are never without power in your own dream space.
Building an Ongoing Relationship With an Astral Lover
Some people have one or two encounters and that’s enough. Others find that a real relationship develops — something consistent, recognizable, and meaningful. If that’s where you’re headed, here’s how to tend it.
Acknowledge the relationship in waking life. Leave a small offering — water, flowers, incense — for your astral companion. Light a candle for them. Speak to them. The more you honor the connection in the physical world, the stronger the bridge between worlds becomes.
Keep your dream journal focused on them. Track the encounters, note how they feel, what shifts in the quality of the connection over time. Patterns will emerge. You’ll start to recognize your astral lover the way you’d recognize anyone you know well.
Don’t try to control or possess the connection. Astral lovers aren’t owned. They’re met. Approach the relationship with the same respect and openness you’d want from any intimate partner. Gratitude and reciprocity go a long way across the veil.
Expect it to change you. People who develop real relationships with astral lovers often report shifts in their creativity, intuition, emotional depth, and sense of spiritual connection. This isn’t a side effect — it’s kind of the point. The night has always been a place of transformation. Let it do its work.
