Breakups are messy, and even when someone is no longer part of your daily life, their presence can still linger in strange ways. Sometimes it feels like they’re still with you—popping into your dreams, flooding your thoughts, or stirring up old emotions out of nowhere. It’s not always about missing them, either. This goes deeper. It’s almost like they’ve left a little energetic imprint behind, one that keeps tapping you on the shoulder even when you’re trying to move on.
Energetic connections are real. When we get close to someone—emotionally, physically, spiritually—we exchange energy. We open doors. And even after things fall apart, those doors don’t always close cleanly. You might not be in love anymore, but that doesn’t mean their energy isn’t still sticking around. You could be feeling their emotions, reacting to their moods, or even dreaming about them because of lingering energetic cords.
This kind of “haunting” isn’t about ghosts in the traditional sense—it’s about leftover energy. When you’ve been deeply connected to someone, especially in a romantic or intimate way, there can be energetic ties that remain after the relationship ends. And sometimes, those ties don’t dissolve on their own. They show up as random sadness, emotional confusion, sudden cravings to text them, or just feeling “off” for no clear reason.
So, can you be haunted by an ex? Energetically speaking, yes. But here’s the good news: just like any haunting, it can be cleared. You don’t have to stay tangled in someone else’s energy forever. Let’s dive into why this happens, how to spot it, and most importantly—how to get your energy back.
What Causes This Energetic Haunting?
When we connect with someone—through love, sex, emotional bonding—we form energetic cords. These cords are like invisible threads that connect your energy field to theirs. They’re natural and often harmless in healthy relationships. But after a breakup, if those cords aren’t cut or healed, they can cause all sorts of weird energetic side effects.
You might randomly think of your ex, not because you want to, but because they’re thinking of you. Yes, energy can work that way. Or maybe you feel drained and heavy after seeing their name pop up somewhere. Or maybe you’re not even sure why you feel sad—everything is fine on paper—but you just can’t shake the feeling that something’s still attached.
Another common sign is dreaming about them often. Dreams are a major sign that some form of connection is still active. Sometimes the dream is random, sometimes it feels very real or emotional. You may even wake up feeling like you just spent actual time with them. That’s often your subconscious (or your energetic body) processing the leftover bond.
If the relationship was intense or toxic, the energy tends to hang around longer. Emotional highs and lows create stronger imprints. That push-pull dynamic, the unresolved arguments, the emotional dependency—it all leaves marks on your energetic space, like fingerprints on glass.
How to Tell If You’re Being Energetically Haunted
So how do you know it’s not just a regular breakup funk? There are a few signs that can point to energetic lingering rather than just emotional healing.
1. Recurring dreams about them
If they keep showing up in your dreams, especially in emotional or vivid ways, it could be a sign of lingering energetic ties. Dreams are one of the easiest places for energetic connections to sneak through because your defenses are down. Whether you’re reliving old memories or having strange new dream encounters with them, it often means their energy hasn’t fully left your space.
2. Random emotional waves that don’t feel like yours
Ever feel totally fine, then out of nowhere get hit with sadness, anger, or longing that makes no sense? That could be their energy brushing up against yours. Especially if you were empathically connected in the relationship, you might still be feeling their emotional waves even after things ended.
3. Sudden urges to contact them out of nowhere
You’re minding your own business, doing your thing, and then boom—you feel an overwhelming urge to text, call, or stalk their social media. Sometimes this isn’t coming from you at all. You could be picking up on their thoughts, or the cord between you is being tugged because they’re thinking about you.
4. You feel them “around” or sense their energy
This one can be super subtle or really intense. You might feel like they’re standing behind you, hear their name everywhere, or even smell their scent. That sensation of their presence can be a clear sign that your energy fields are still mingled and their imprint hasn’t faded yet.
5. You can’t seem to stop thinking about them even though you want to
It’s one thing to miss someone—totally normal. But if you’re trying to move on and your brain keeps looping back to them without your permission, that could be an energetic cord at work. You might feel like you’re stuck in a loop that isn’t entirely yours.
6. Physical sensations like chills, tension, or heaviness when you think of them
Your body doesn’t lie. If thinking about your ex brings on physical symptoms like tightness in your chest, chills down your spine, or a weird heaviness you can’t explain, your energy could still be processing their presence. Your body might be reacting to something deeper than just memory.
7. Feeling drained or tired after thinking about them
If your energy takes a nosedive every time they cross your mind or come up in conversation, that’s a red flag. Energetic attachments can act like energy leaks. Your system might be overworking to keep them out, and it takes a toll on your energy levels.
8. You’re seeing repeating numbers or “signs” related to them
Seeing their birthday, initials, or favorite number everywhere? Or maybe certain songs keep playing that remind you of them? This could be your subconscious trying to process the connection—or it might be your energetic bond still pulsing in your field, drawing in reminders of them.
9. You keep replaying the relationship in your head
It’s natural to reflect after a breakup, but if you keep obsessively going over every moment—what they said, what you said, what went wrong—it could be because the energetic imprint hasn’t cleared. Sometimes these thoughts aren’t even helpful, they just keep you stuck in the past.
10. You have trouble connecting with new people
When your energy is still wrapped up in an old connection, it can be hard to make space for someone new. You might notice you’re closed off, emotionally unavailable, or constantly comparing new people to your ex. That could be a sign their energy is still taking up space in your field.
These aren’t one-size-fits-all signs, but if you’re experiencing more than a couple of them, there’s a good chance you’re dealing with an energetic attachment that hasn’t been cleared yet. And the good news? You can do something about it.
How to Clear Their Energy From Your Space
The first step is awareness. Once you recognize what’s going on, you’re already halfway there. You don’t have to do anything fancy or overly complicated—just a few grounded, simple practices to help take your energy back.
1. Cut energetic cords.
You can do this through visualization. Sit quietly, close your eyes, and imagine any cords or threads connecting you to your ex. Then, gently imagine cutting them with golden scissors or dissolving them in light. Say something like, “I release this connection with love and peace.” Do this more than once if needed.
2. Cleanse your space.
Burn some sage, palo santo, incense, or even just open the windows and let in fresh air. Say out loud, “Only my energy is welcome here.” You’re setting a boundary with the space around you.
3. Use salt baths.
Salt is cleansing and grounding. Take a bath with Epsom salt or sea salt and imagine the water pulling out all lingering energy from your body. Bonus: add lavender or rosemary for extra healing vibes.
4. Write and burn.
Write a letter to your ex (you won’t send it!) about everything you want to release—anger, sadness, confusion, love, anything. Then burn it safely and let it go. The act itself is powerful and symbolic.
5. Call your energy back.
Say out loud: “I call back all parts of my energy from every person, place, or thing that no longer serves me. I am whole. I am free.” Repeat as needed. It may sound simple, but intention matters.
6. Protect your energy going forward.
When you’re emotionally vulnerable, you’re more open to energetic interference. Visualize a protective bubble around yourself before bed or when you feel drained. Even just saying, “I protect my energy now,” can be helpful.
When It Feels Too Strong
Sometimes, despite all your best efforts, the energy just won’t budge. That’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or doing something wrong—it just means the connection was really deep. If the energetic haunting starts affecting your sleep, your mental health, or your ability to move forward, it might be worth working with an energy healer, spiritual practitioner, or even a therapist with an open mind about energy work.
There’s no shame in needing help with this. We weren’t taught how to deal with energy in school. We were told to just “move on” or “get over it”—but some ties run deeper than logic. It’s brave to heal, and even braver to ask for help when you need it.
A Peaceful Goodbye
You don’t need to stay energetically tied to someone who’s no longer part of your life. Yes, the past happened. Yes, it meant something. But you deserve to feel clear, whole, and free again. Releasing doesn’t erase the love—it just opens the door for your own peace to return.
So if you’re feeling haunted by an ex, know that it won’t last forever. You have the power to shift your energy, reclaim your space, and come back to yourself. Slowly, gently, and with intention. Healing isn’t about forgetting. It’s about remembering who you are—without their shadow in the way.
